Living rent free

Recent Huskateer posts have seriously sucked. This one will be no different. Enjoy some amusing anecdotes.

At my brother's high school graduation, there were more pregnant girls than honor students. Abstinance totally works. After the ceremony, we filed outside and the whole crowd simultaneously lit up. I love that in rural Pennsylvania, smoking on public school grounds in front of a cop isn't considered strange. While smoking, my Gram asked me when I was going to quit that filthy habit. I responded, "When I get knocked up." She looked offended, then informed me that you don't say "knocked up"; you say "in a family way."

My Gram attempted to domesticate me by teaching me to cook a traditional meal. While she was washing the dishes and I was watching the stove, I heard her start swearing. Among her favorite swear words are: balls and shitass. Don't ask me what the second one means. She also told me that if I don't know what men are good for than she wasn't going to tell me until I'm married. Oh if only she knew.

I'm not celibate anymore. Shortly there will be a post that explains it all.