Punch-drunk sex
I know this will shock y'all, but I've recently been considering working as a phone sex operator after graduation. Unlike my search for straight jobs, this has been exceedingly fruitful and painless. I posted my "resume" (which includes key questions like bra size and fetish experience) on Friday with a website. Shameless SAT reference alert: This webiste is to the adult industry what Idealist.org is to the non-profit world. I applied with a few agencies, nearly all of which have responded to me. It's disconcerting that I've achieved a 10% reponse rate when I send out my resume, cover letters, and writing samples, and about a 75% response rate when I want to talk dirty to complete strangers.
I had my first interview tonight, and I can't say I wasn't a *little* nervous. I'm confident in phone sex skills, and the generally pleasant sound of my voice, but it's intimidating to feel as though you'll be critiqued. Another part of the awkwardness of the impending interview was knowing that I'd be having phone sex with a potential boss. We're socialized to keep our professional and sexual relationships miles apart, but in the sex worker world, there is no such seperation. If you want to be in a porn, you've got to show your skills to the director/producers. And if you want to be a phone sex operator, you've got to perform for the owner or manager.
I was clearly still thinking like a straight employee because I assumed that my potential employer would be taking notes as I spoke and moaned, then offering criticism and suggested improvements. That was probably the stupidest assumption I have ever made. The interview actually turned out to be an enjoyable 90+ minute conversation. Before you ask, yes, it included phone sex. And no, I did not fake the orgasm, but more importantly, neither did he.
Long story short, yours truly may soon be a bonafide sex worker, at least in the auditory sense.
Here's what some of my friends are saying (more to come as reactions come in):
Toby: I don't even want to know. LOL
Me: i got a job!
Mike: yay!
Me: i'm gonna be a sex phone operator!
Mike: awsome?
Me: i was worried that i would get sketched out, but it was surprisingly easy to have phone sex with a random stranger
Co-worker: now, i would have assumed that you just pretend, cuz i mean how many times in a row can you do that when you are workng
Me: well, i think you do most of the time, but if i feel like doing it, i will
Me: i like masturbating
Co-worker: shut up
Co-worker: my life sucks and yours doesnt
Me: yeah...i have orgasms on job interviews; you can't have them while hooking up
Co-worker: bitch
I thought today was going to suck when I barely slept thanks to the fake orgasms Russell was giving my co-worker in the living room. That's how we know the "Let's Get Evicted" party was a success--people who don't live here were hooking up in our living room. Gross. But lo and behold, there is some justice in the world. Oh yeah, and I got a badass needle exchange shirt from my internship boss. Friggin' sweet.
I had my first interview tonight, and I can't say I wasn't a *little* nervous. I'm confident in phone sex skills, and the generally pleasant sound of my voice, but it's intimidating to feel as though you'll be critiqued. Another part of the awkwardness of the impending interview was knowing that I'd be having phone sex with a potential boss. We're socialized to keep our professional and sexual relationships miles apart, but in the sex worker world, there is no such seperation. If you want to be in a porn, you've got to show your skills to the director/producers. And if you want to be a phone sex operator, you've got to perform for the owner or manager.
I was clearly still thinking like a straight employee because I assumed that my potential employer would be taking notes as I spoke and moaned, then offering criticism and suggested improvements. That was probably the stupidest assumption I have ever made. The interview actually turned out to be an enjoyable 90+ minute conversation. Before you ask, yes, it included phone sex. And no, I did not fake the orgasm, but more importantly, neither did he.
Long story short, yours truly may soon be a bonafide sex worker, at least in the auditory sense.
Here's what some of my friends are saying (more to come as reactions come in):
Toby: I don't even want to know. LOL
Me: i got a job!
Mike: yay!
Me: i'm gonna be a sex phone operator!
Mike: awsome?
Me: i was worried that i would get sketched out, but it was surprisingly easy to have phone sex with a random stranger
Co-worker: now, i would have assumed that you just pretend, cuz i mean how many times in a row can you do that when you are workng
Me: well, i think you do most of the time, but if i feel like doing it, i will
Me: i like masturbating
Co-worker: shut up
Co-worker: my life sucks and yours doesnt
Me: yeah...i have orgasms on job interviews; you can't have them while hooking up
Co-worker: bitch
I thought today was going to suck when I barely slept thanks to the fake orgasms Russell was giving my co-worker in the living room. That's how we know the "Let's Get Evicted" party was a success--people who don't live here were hooking up in our living room. Gross. But lo and behold, there is some justice in the world. Oh yeah, and I got a badass needle exchange shirt from my internship boss. Friggin' sweet.
posted by The Husskateer at 1:12 AM
5 Comments:
I was wondering whether you've read the book "Surrender." I read about 70% of it sitting in Barnes and Noble last week, and I thought that you might have some interesting thoughts on it.
I haven't actually, though I will try to pick it up and see what I think.
Probably not worth buying, but for a philosopher of sexuality, like yourself, you might find it worth reading.
A philosopher of sexuality? I'm no Foucault, much to my dismay.
Well... that is setting up a rather high standard for yourself. I think that you might qualify even if your musings fall short of Foucault on some mythical sexual philosophy scale.
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