Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Mastercard: It's everywhere but where I'm looking for it

Metro fare from Dupont to Shady Grove: $1.35
Cab fare from Shady Grove to house: $13.00
Breadsticks: $12.11
Coke: $3.00
Coconut Rum: $15.00
Hooking up with an ex (again): Priceless.

What's not priceless however is waking up next to a sweaty ex, who hardly looks as hot in gym shorts as he did last night in his brand new tight jeans with a pounding headache and the desire to run as fast as possible away from his bedroom. What makes this situation worse is that this particular ex is severely unbalanced and thus tried to be all fucking cuddley with me this morning. After dating me for six months, he should know better. Now that you know the story, let's continue this little Mastercard commerical rip-off.

Bus fare from house back to Rockville: $1.25 (borrowed)
Faking morning breath to avoid having to kiss an ex you never want to see again good-bye: Priceless.
Arriving at Rockville Metro only to realize that you don't have your wallet (which contains your SS card, credit cards, debit card, license, and Smart Trip card): FUCKING HORRIFIC.

So my walk of shame was prolonged for an hour while I waited for my friend to pick me up. I alerted the ex to the situation, and he said he would check for it on his break from work. Of course he says he can't fucking find it. He couldn't find his way out of wet paper sack if I gave him directions and a map. But I can't go out there and look for it myself because I don't have my god damn money and thus have no metro fare or cab fare. And he's all whiney on the phone, like someone ran over his best friend with a tank, because I'm paying more attention to my wallet than I am him. At this point, I'm very nearly ready to consider it a casualty of my sex life and just let my precious pink wallet go.

My social security card, on the other hand, is a bit tougher to part with.

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