Easy as 1, 2, 3
When all else fails, go back to the fundamentals.
Vocab of the Day
The Pipeline (noun): This sales term refers to lovers and potential lovers waiting in the wings, so to speak. A good salesman closes 100% of his deals. A great salesman always has 100 more leads than he needs. For best results, those in the pipeline should be kept in a carefully managed list, ranked in the order in which you'd most like to sleep with them. Pipelines require cultivation and care, but never too much, as this can foster attachment. Good lovers should lovers should always be recycled back into the Pipeline for future use.
Turn & Speak (verb): You enjoy sleeping with the person you're sleeping with, but you'd hate to give them the wrong impression (i.e. the impression that you enjoy them). This little move is tried and true. Here's how it works:
Step 1: Enjoy the sex. Orgasming is highly recommended, as it makes you feel and seem sleepier.
Step 2: For maximum affect, try to position yourself so that nothing stands between you and the wall.
Step 3: Relax in your post-coitus, sweaty glow.
Step 4: The minute your partner makes any attempt at contact, roll onto your side so that you're facing the wall.
Step 5:Simultaneously, clearly say, "Alright. See you later."
Step 6: Sleep like an evil baby.
Vocab of the Day
The Pipeline (noun): This sales term refers to lovers and potential lovers waiting in the wings, so to speak. A good salesman closes 100% of his deals. A great salesman always has 100 more leads than he needs. For best results, those in the pipeline should be kept in a carefully managed list, ranked in the order in which you'd most like to sleep with them. Pipelines require cultivation and care, but never too much, as this can foster attachment. Good lovers should lovers should always be recycled back into the Pipeline for future use.
Turn & Speak (verb): You enjoy sleeping with the person you're sleeping with, but you'd hate to give them the wrong impression (i.e. the impression that you enjoy them). This little move is tried and true. Here's how it works:
Step 1: Enjoy the sex. Orgasming is highly recommended, as it makes you feel and seem sleepier.
Step 2: For maximum affect, try to position yourself so that nothing stands between you and the wall.
Step 3: Relax in your post-coitus, sweaty glow.
Step 4: The minute your partner makes any attempt at contact, roll onto your side so that you're facing the wall.
Step 5:Simultaneously, clearly say, "Alright. See you later."
Step 6: Sleep like an evil baby.
posted by The Husskateer at 10:16 PM
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