MISTAKE!
I often wish I had someone to follow me around all day and tell me when I'm about to make a huge, catastrophic mistake. Perhaps an opera singer, like on the episode of Scrubs I watched today. He could just belt out "MISTAKE!" and then I'd avoid doing or saying whatever dumbass thought it currently floating through my brain.
I screwed up at work. In fact, I've been screwing up almost the entire time I've been there. From forming inappropriate relationships with my coworkers--friends, friends with benefits, and otherwise--I've definitely fucked up my work life. And, while it took a little while to kick in, it all eventually caught up with me. Today, I should have kept my mouth shut. Today, I should have pretended that I didn't care and played nice. But I didn't. Thus my need for a MISTAKE! man.
I haven't had a day like this in awhile. Most days lately, I've felt pretty good about myself and successfully left what happened at work where it belonged, at work. One bad day rolls around, and bam, I immediately want to forgo all my hard work and head right back into my old ways. I really want to spend a few hours with my good friend Bacardi. Perhaps then, stumbling through my neighborhood, I'd pick up a loaf of sourdough bread, butter, and a whole pizza. After consuming all three items, I really want to crawl into bed with the sexiest men I can think of -- Ben and Jerry. Then I'd probably start to cry with the weight of my failure, both professionally and in terms of my diet. The next logical step is picking up the phone to half-heartedly drunk dial a boy who I should in no way have contact with. I'd wake up next to him, reeling with remorse over the entire event. From there, it's only a hop, skip and a jump to waking up in a pool of what I can only hope is my own vomit or doing things I wouldn't force on a mule, including things I forced on a mule. It would take me weeks to bounce back from such a backslide, if I could at all.
Even though I don't have a MISTAKE man, I choose a different path today. Granted, I may have taken three Xanax today and spent a good 20 minutes crying in the bathroom, but otherwise, I've kept it together. I may still feel like shit about everything that happened today, but tomorrow is a new day. Perhaps the first day that I'll hear that little voice in my head that says, "Stop and think."
I screwed up at work. In fact, I've been screwing up almost the entire time I've been there. From forming inappropriate relationships with my coworkers--friends, friends with benefits, and otherwise--I've definitely fucked up my work life. And, while it took a little while to kick in, it all eventually caught up with me. Today, I should have kept my mouth shut. Today, I should have pretended that I didn't care and played nice. But I didn't. Thus my need for a MISTAKE! man.
I haven't had a day like this in awhile. Most days lately, I've felt pretty good about myself and successfully left what happened at work where it belonged, at work. One bad day rolls around, and bam, I immediately want to forgo all my hard work and head right back into my old ways. I really want to spend a few hours with my good friend Bacardi. Perhaps then, stumbling through my neighborhood, I'd pick up a loaf of sourdough bread, butter, and a whole pizza. After consuming all three items, I really want to crawl into bed with the sexiest men I can think of -- Ben and Jerry. Then I'd probably start to cry with the weight of my failure, both professionally and in terms of my diet. The next logical step is picking up the phone to half-heartedly drunk dial a boy who I should in no way have contact with. I'd wake up next to him, reeling with remorse over the entire event. From there, it's only a hop, skip and a jump to waking up in a pool of what I can only hope is my own vomit or doing things I wouldn't force on a mule, including things I forced on a mule. It would take me weeks to bounce back from such a backslide, if I could at all.
Even though I don't have a MISTAKE man, I choose a different path today. Granted, I may have taken three Xanax today and spent a good 20 minutes crying in the bathroom, but otherwise, I've kept it together. I may still feel like shit about everything that happened today, but tomorrow is a new day. Perhaps the first day that I'll hear that little voice in my head that says, "Stop and think."
posted by The Husskateer at 8:04 PM
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