Monday, December 31, 2007

New Year's Eve?

Some days require introspection and self-examination more than others. Unreasonably we choose random dates on the calendar--birthdays, anniversaries of momentous occasions, and of course, the end of one year and the start of a new one.

Today is a day no different than any other. I find proof of this in the consistency of television schedules. December 31, 2007 still means Family Guy at 6:30, The Simpsons at 7:00, Scrubs at 7:30. TBS, Fox and Comedy Central will not let me spiral into absurd levels of self-scrutinizing. The same schedule as any other weekday prevails. Still, there is something ingrained in my brain about today.

The calendar tells me I must ring in the new year. I must reflect on the year past and the year to come. I must have something prolific to say about what I have done with the last 365 days and what I plan to do with the next. Today I am offered 24 hours to relive, reflect upon, and most importantly, account for the 8,760 hours of 2007. Well, here goes nothing.

2007

Best Date -- Dinner and a movie with the Sweet Boy in Cincinnati
Worst Date -- Holiday Party with the Dry Humper

Best Sex -- Mr. Bubble
Worst Sex -- The Friend of a Friend (my judgment may be clouded by my intense rage)

Best Moment -- April 3
Worst Moment -- August 6 and August 17 (tie)

And now, a year end recap in 60 seconds (approximately): got a new job, broke up with Disingenuous, restarted smoking, slept with The S, slept with coworker, fell in love with The Sweet Boy all over again, broke a tooth on a fortune cookie, slept with The Volunteer, had insomnia, slept with The Roommate, lost best friend, slept with a second coworker, briefly dated Mr. Bubble, had heart broken by The Sweet Boy all over again, reunited with best friend, got pregnant, convinced a girl at a bar to have a threesome with The Friend of a Friend and I, got a hang over, discovered pregnancy whilst drunk in a Chipotle bathroom, had an abortion, recovered, slept with The S, bought a car, fasted for 6 days, stopped sleeping with The Friend of a Friend, started sleeping with The Friend of a Friend again, got into an altercation with The Friend of a Friend and stopped seeing him altogether, quit drinking, had an anxiety attack over driving in the snow, took Ambien, went to therapy, took Xanex, had three glasses of red wine, got dry humped unwillingly for 4 hours after a holiday party, recommitted myself to not drinking, went home for Christmas, realized how important family really is to me, ate too many cookies, fixed my car, came back to DC, congratulated my mom on the second engagement of her life without feeling bitter about it, fasted for 4 days and spent New Year's Eve in my bathrobe watching tv and taking comfort in the fact that today is a regular day while simultaneously serving as the end of a hard year and a symbolic blank slate.

Happy New Year and remember to take car of yourselves, and one another.

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