You've Lost That New Car Smell
Let me first say that I'm opposed to using definitions blatantly stolen from Wikipedia in my posts. To me, it feels all to much like wedding speeches containing the phrase "Webster's Dictionary defines love as". Makes me itchy all over just to think of it. But I also firmly believe that you should accept available assistance from experts when you have no idea what the hell you're talking about. Say a subject like accounting, for example. Anyway, here's what Wikipedia, a source far more reliable than myself, says:
"Appreciation is a term used in accounting relating to the increase in value of an asset. In this sense it is the reverse of depreciation, which measures the fall in value of assets over their normal life-time...
There are considerable difficulties in assessing the increase in value of any particular asset. This is principally because of the variety of interpretations that can be attached to the word value itself and due to the various instruments and methods used in the valuation process."
As lovers, are we depreciating in value the minute we sleep with someone? For the boys I know, it seems that the more unattainable the girl, the more they want her. Perhaps for myself too, as I've continued a three-year sexual relationship with someone who has said over and over that it will never be anything more. Are we like cars, dropping in value so severely the second you take us off the market that we're barely worth anything to each other at all?
Take Mr. Friday Night. After meeting up at a bachelorette party and enjoying a night of heavy drinking and fun with Sharpies, we headed back to my place. He bitched the entire way about how hungry he was. My patience was already thin. As a member of the bride-to-be's posse, I had already been subjected to all manner of groping, fondling, and obscene messages written on my t-shirt. Beyond that, before we left Tom Tom (sidebar: worst Friday night spot ever!) I had asked if he wanted any one of the many food items available in Adams Morgan. Maggie Moo's, falafel, three kinds of jumbo slice! But everyone loves a martyr, so he declined and whined. Finally we got to my house, and he asked if we could get pizza. Rage! You didn't want pizza when it was right next to you! Talk about a warning sign that this boy can't appreciate what he has. Of course, it's 2 am and I live in the hood so there is no pizza available. I offer my last box of mac n' cheese. For me, this is roughly the equivalent of offering you a kidney. He accepts, and I prepare the most domestic meal I'm capable of. He eats a few spoonfuls of the mac n' cheese and says, "This is awful!" I very nearly stabbed him with my deliciously cheesy spoon. Motherfucker even had the nerve to bring it up the next morning at breakfast.
Okay, so he doesn't appreciate my cooking. That's nothing to cry over. I barely appreciate my cooking, so I should be alright with that. What I'm not alright with is that this boys continues to talk at great length with me about the other girls we know and how much he wants to sleep with and/or date them. Often not terribly long before or after we've fucked. He's idealized these girls to the point that no one can out do them. They're perfect because they're fantasy. Stupid skinny, nice, pretty fantasy girls. Even more frustrating than his complete lack of tact is his complete lack of appreciation for me and what I do for him. At first, he seemed so grateful to be sleeping with anyone at all, let alone someone with my approach to sex. Now that a few weeks have passed, suddenly I'm not doing enough to keep him sexually satisfied or to keep his eye from being permanently fixed on my friends' breasts. I've never really experienced this before. Where did I go wrong? I think my mistake was making myself too available. Aloofness is tiring, but it's proven effective. I suppose I need to return to formerly unavailable self in order to keep this boy in line. That and continuously remind him that he hasn't fucked me in the ass...yet.
"Appreciation is a term used in accounting relating to the increase in value of an asset. In this sense it is the reverse of depreciation, which measures the fall in value of assets over their normal life-time...
There are considerable difficulties in assessing the increase in value of any particular asset. This is principally because of the variety of interpretations that can be attached to the word value itself and due to the various instruments and methods used in the valuation process."
As lovers, are we depreciating in value the minute we sleep with someone? For the boys I know, it seems that the more unattainable the girl, the more they want her. Perhaps for myself too, as I've continued a three-year sexual relationship with someone who has said over and over that it will never be anything more. Are we like cars, dropping in value so severely the second you take us off the market that we're barely worth anything to each other at all?
Take Mr. Friday Night. After meeting up at a bachelorette party and enjoying a night of heavy drinking and fun with Sharpies, we headed back to my place. He bitched the entire way about how hungry he was. My patience was already thin. As a member of the bride-to-be's posse, I had already been subjected to all manner of groping, fondling, and obscene messages written on my t-shirt. Beyond that, before we left Tom Tom (sidebar: worst Friday night spot ever!) I had asked if he wanted any one of the many food items available in Adams Morgan. Maggie Moo's, falafel, three kinds of jumbo slice! But everyone loves a martyr, so he declined and whined. Finally we got to my house, and he asked if we could get pizza. Rage! You didn't want pizza when it was right next to you! Talk about a warning sign that this boy can't appreciate what he has. Of course, it's 2 am and I live in the hood so there is no pizza available. I offer my last box of mac n' cheese. For me, this is roughly the equivalent of offering you a kidney. He accepts, and I prepare the most domestic meal I'm capable of. He eats a few spoonfuls of the mac n' cheese and says, "This is awful!" I very nearly stabbed him with my deliciously cheesy spoon. Motherfucker even had the nerve to bring it up the next morning at breakfast.
Okay, so he doesn't appreciate my cooking. That's nothing to cry over. I barely appreciate my cooking, so I should be alright with that. What I'm not alright with is that this boys continues to talk at great length with me about the other girls we know and how much he wants to sleep with and/or date them. Often not terribly long before or after we've fucked. He's idealized these girls to the point that no one can out do them. They're perfect because they're fantasy. Stupid skinny, nice, pretty fantasy girls. Even more frustrating than his complete lack of tact is his complete lack of appreciation for me and what I do for him. At first, he seemed so grateful to be sleeping with anyone at all, let alone someone with my approach to sex. Now that a few weeks have passed, suddenly I'm not doing enough to keep him sexually satisfied or to keep his eye from being permanently fixed on my friends' breasts. I've never really experienced this before. Where did I go wrong? I think my mistake was making myself too available. Aloofness is tiring, but it's proven effective. I suppose I need to return to formerly unavailable self in order to keep this boy in line. That and continuously remind him that he hasn't fucked me in the ass...yet.
posted by The Husskateer at 8:27 AM
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