All the cool kids are doing it

I'm back from the mid-west and fully intact. Pictures are available if you email me and ask really nicely. I know you're all overjoyed.

My mother called me today to inform me that my childhood best friend is pregnant. About five minutes after I got off the phone with her, I realized that I put my underwear on inside out this morning. At that moment, I realized how desperately unprepared I am for adult life.