You make me feel like a blow-up doll.*
Some of this story has squeaked out in my comments to other bloggers, and conversations with friends, but has yet to be fully actualized or addressed. Might as well do it now.
About six weeks ago, I had a sex dream about my (male) roommate. Nothing that unusual. As he informs me, the way to get two animals to mate is to put them in the same space together. If that doesn't scream "do me now," then I don't know what does.
Time passed and platonic relations continued, as did the dreams. But something was definitely different. It was as though for the last seven months it had never occurred to him that I was a girl. And then, bam! All of the sudden there I was. With tits.
We flirt back and forth, and it's all seemingly innocent enough, but sooner or later, something will happen. There's a reason I have very few straight male friends. Actually, aside from my roommates and Rusty, I don't think I have any straight male friends.
The Ladder Theory doesn't quite apply to me. Unlike most girls, I see little purpose for guy friends in my life. If you can't sleep with them, what good are they to you? So, much like the men around me, I pretty generally just rank everyone in the order with which I would sleep with them, if given the opportunity. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule. My other roommates (the Boy Scout and the Sailor) are out, as sleeping with them would mean destroying something innocent and good. Plus, they're kind of like my brothers. The other, more common exceptions are boys with serious faults such as being leprechauns or having bad teeth.
The Roommate, on the other hand, does not fall into either of those two categories. Girls are adept at making quick assessments on who they will and will not sleep with, and I should honestly say that my initial decision was that I would fuck The Roommate, if given a situation in which it wouldn't negatively impact my housing. Given that, months passed, and the thought never crossed my mind. Now, it's there way too frequently for my liking. What's the solution here?
Ah fuck it. I'm too tired for deep thought. I'll just buy him a pie tomorrow. And then probably flash him.
*Title courtesy of said roommate, and one of his many entertaining stories.
About six weeks ago, I had a sex dream about my (male) roommate. Nothing that unusual. As he informs me, the way to get two animals to mate is to put them in the same space together. If that doesn't scream "do me now," then I don't know what does.
Time passed and platonic relations continued, as did the dreams. But something was definitely different. It was as though for the last seven months it had never occurred to him that I was a girl. And then, bam! All of the sudden there I was. With tits.
We flirt back and forth, and it's all seemingly innocent enough, but sooner or later, something will happen. There's a reason I have very few straight male friends. Actually, aside from my roommates and Rusty, I don't think I have any straight male friends.
The Ladder Theory doesn't quite apply to me. Unlike most girls, I see little purpose for guy friends in my life. If you can't sleep with them, what good are they to you? So, much like the men around me, I pretty generally just rank everyone in the order with which I would sleep with them, if given the opportunity. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule. My other roommates (the Boy Scout and the Sailor) are out, as sleeping with them would mean destroying something innocent and good. Plus, they're kind of like my brothers. The other, more common exceptions are boys with serious faults such as being leprechauns or having bad teeth.
The Roommate, on the other hand, does not fall into either of those two categories. Girls are adept at making quick assessments on who they will and will not sleep with, and I should honestly say that my initial decision was that I would fuck The Roommate, if given a situation in which it wouldn't negatively impact my housing. Given that, months passed, and the thought never crossed my mind. Now, it's there way too frequently for my liking. What's the solution here?
Ah fuck it. I'm too tired for deep thought. I'll just buy him a pie tomorrow. And then probably flash him.
*Title courtesy of said roommate, and one of his many entertaining stories.
posted by The Husskateer at 12:27 AM
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