Your mother's a whore, Trebek!

College has really just been four years of homemaking + four years of relationship advice + four years of sex education + four years of stress - $120,000. Nothing wastes time like college. Nothing damages your brain like college. But C's equal degrees--C is for credit, it's good enough for me. Despite my mildly OCD tendencies and my need to be a perfectionist, I just keep reminding myself that the world will not end if I get a C. In fact, the world will go on. I will graduate. And in four years, with the help of some illegal substances and a lot of liquor, I will have successfully repressed everything related to academics.

And I'll wash down my Represitol with gin every morning and live to be 95 in ignorant bliss only to die of a terminal orgasm.

A girl can dream, right?