Baby mama drama

Talking to a former lover yesterday, I learned that his most recent ex-girlfriend is now pregnant. He was initially made to believe that it was his child. He even went so far as to imform his parents of the impending bundle of "joy" and allow said bundle of joy's vessel to move in with him. A month into this little exercise in why contraception is so critical, he realized that she had been pregnant 2 to 3 weeks longer than he had been fucking her. Much to her surprise, he booted her out onto her bloated ass. Surely she knew this day was coming. At the birth, he might have gotten suspicious when the baby turned out to be mixed in a way that a pastey French-Italian kid simply could not have produced.

While I am somewhat sympathetic to my former flame and his family, I find this story both hilarious and reassuring. No matter what happens, I'm still not that girl. It's the small pleasures in life, really.

Brought to you by the letter L.