A 1986 Celebrity is NOT a shaggin' wagon
I'm back in PA and filled with the holiday spirit.
Okay, so half of that is true. I'm back in PA, sitting at work on Christmas Eve. Tonight I'm required to attend church and repent a whole years worth of sins (which believe me, will take a lot longer than one night) in the hopes of being deemed nice with just a touch of naughty and getting something under the tree tomorrow besides condoms, lube and extra batteries.
Outwardly, I appear to have a deep hatred of the holidays, but secretly, I love Christmas. I could do without the lights and trees and perhaps even the presents. There is something appealing about the idea of all mankind setting aside their differences and bonding with a sense of warmth and love for their peers. In other words, in the most idealistic terms, Christmas sounds like an orgy. In which case, I recommend that you celebrate the holiday with complete strangers, rather than with family and friends. It's just less messy that way. The other really amazing thing about Christmas is misletoe. It's just the excuse I've been looking for to have a certain someone's lips all over me.
Christmas is a time for giving, and why not give the gift that keeps on giving.
Okay, so half of that is true. I'm back in PA, sitting at work on Christmas Eve. Tonight I'm required to attend church and repent a whole years worth of sins (which believe me, will take a lot longer than one night) in the hopes of being deemed nice with just a touch of naughty and getting something under the tree tomorrow besides condoms, lube and extra batteries.
Outwardly, I appear to have a deep hatred of the holidays, but secretly, I love Christmas. I could do without the lights and trees and perhaps even the presents. There is something appealing about the idea of all mankind setting aside their differences and bonding with a sense of warmth and love for their peers. In other words, in the most idealistic terms, Christmas sounds like an orgy. In which case, I recommend that you celebrate the holiday with complete strangers, rather than with family and friends. It's just less messy that way. The other really amazing thing about Christmas is misletoe. It's just the excuse I've been looking for to have a certain someone's lips all over me.
Christmas is a time for giving, and why not give the gift that keeps on giving.
posted by The Husskateer at 10:38 AM
2 Comments:
Herpes, indeed.
I'm sure you've seen this before, but I know you'll enjoy it nonetheless:
http://www.playingsafely.co.uk/12stisofchristmas/12-STIs.html
Happy Christmas, darlin.
Oooo...classy.
I do think I win though, since the Celebrity does not have even a tape deck, and it's a god damn Americana mobile because my grandparents are all patriotic and shit. I was so ashamed at the mall today because I have these hideous red, white, and blue bumperstickers on it. Though it is significantly less shameful than the pick up truck I was forced to drive last break. I never liked my baby blue '94 Taurus (even though it conviently rhymes with one of my favorite words), but I fucking hate it now for leaving me high and dry.
In response to your "I hate people who are happy" post, I am in complete agreement. Granted, I am *somewhat* embittered, but I don't necessarily want to begrudge others their happiness. I simply take great pleasure in watching them suffer when their happiness inevitabely dies. Haha. Silly rabbit.
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