Ugh. Boys with Oedipal complexes are so boring and predictable. Just because I have an ample chest and a smile that makes it appear that I care does not mean I'm anything like your mother. If you're going to have emotional issues, at least try to make them interesting.

I just want a normal boy. One who will fuck me in the shower and not be there when I wake up. Is that too much for a girl to ask? Apparently it is. Scratch that. I want a boy with multiple personalities so he can keep up with me.

This update brought to you by the letter L and excellent margaritas on the rocks.